Sunday, March 10, 2013

FILMS THAT CAN BE SKIPPED

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS VERY STRONG PERSONAL OPINION.

  1. A History of Violence – A movie filmed mostly in a dark studio, it seems and a one street town. Poor excuse for "film noir." Casting is poor, love scenes are clinical and script is non-existent. Value Engineered. How was it nominated for an award? The right things don’t always happen in this world!
  2. Pirates of the Carribbean – Marketing alone doth not make a good film. A senseless ripoff of Yellow beard. Script is very poor. The sequels are value engineered. Avoid them.
  3. AI – modern day Pinocchio wishes to find his mother. Poor scripting and lackluster casting killed this film. Some good special effects.
  4. Feeling Minnesota – Keanu Reeves plays a low life brother-in-law to Cameron Diaz who is marrying his brother. The Johnny Cash title song is memorable.
  5. Miami Heat – senseless violence without cause.
  6. The Pianist – Long boring, pointless film about WW II in which a Jewish radio announcer is kept alive in Nazi Europe. Good suspense and sets, but it’s a one-man show that is never interesting. Its also a Polanski film.
  7. The Talented Mr. Ripley – Poor casting and bungled screen play makes for a poor movie. The sets are very good though.
  8. Deer Hunter – A boring pointless movie about the Vietnam war that I struggled through. What did the critics read into the movie to give it so many awards?
  9. What Dreams May Come – A nonsensical adventure into an inane void.
  10. Collateral damage – Weak plot and little action make this a flop.
  11. Daybreak – Sylvester Stallone runs into the ground in this botched up disaster film. If you are a Stallone fan, Cliffhanger is a better bet.
  12. Sin City – Wonder how this became a hit. A nonsensical, surrealistic blob/mob movie.
  13. The Three Kings – A disjointed wreck of a film.
  14. The Perfect Storm – Poor screen play makes this a pointless film to watch. The special effects are good. The Peacemaker is a better Clooney bet.
  15. Ocean’s eleven – Plot/script is poor. Eleven parade around in fancy suits waiting for something to happen.
  16. The Interpreter – While Sean Penn is a fine actor, this one didn’t fly. Don’t remember why.
  17. Lost in Translation – Another plodding, plot thin movie lost with insipid acting.
  18. Land of the Blind -- This satire was lost to me. Couldn't get past the first half hour.
  19. Munich -- Story of the 1972 massacre in Munich and retaliation by Mossad. I didn't get the oomph from this inspite of the sets and the directing. "Sword of Gideon" is a lot more interesting although of lesser cinematic value.
  20. Metropolis -- This is Fritz Lang's 1920's classic. Even though the sets are far advanced for their time, its only for the serious student of cinema. Its influence on sci-fi special effects can still be seen today, but its a disjointed wreck of a film that fails to hold interest.
  21. Treasure planet -- value engineered, plot poor movie.
  22. The Good German -- The good german is a bad film. Inspite of the big names behind the movie, this doesn't quite make it as a film noir, partly because of the low stakes and a casting imperfection. George Clooney is too affable as a military journalist and doesn't have much of a role. Cate Blanchett is supposed to be a femme fatale but doesn't quite fit her role. Not everyone can shape shift into an "on demand" german.
  23. Beverly Hillbillies -- There is very little of the TV series except that grannie is still grannie.
  24. Alien vs Predator -- I wonder what muddle inspired this movie and what compelled me to watch it.
  25. The Last Rites of Ransom Pride -- This is a Q.T. movie.  It seems like a mix of Western, Cult and chic flic.  Did not like the jarring edits.  Film seemed pointless and un-convincing.
  26. Horseman --  An enraged father goes on a revenge spree. Unfortunately, little cinematic value. 
  27. Hancock -- A superhero shows his less than heroic side.  Movie simply didn't click. 
  28. The Last Templar -- This made-for-TV film should be titled "Jewish princess has a trip".  Its a slow movie that lacks steam.  
  29. The Pilot's wife -- This is a slow movie that lacks steam.  
  30. Transformers -- Lots of people liked transformers, but for me it was plot thin,  screeenplay-poor movie  with jarring edits.
  31. Alls faire in love -- This is chic flic that is on this list because casting, acting and scripting all seemed green.
  32. Hirokin -- A confused warrior meanders his way through a post apocalyptic wasteland to kill a paper-thin villain.  This has all the hall marks of a 'made-for-tv-movie',  and most of it is about Hirokin's confusion! 
  33. In Bruges -- Two assassins wait for a hit in this plodding film.  
  34. The Ghost of Robin Hood -- This seemed like an amateur production, I didn't get past the first 15 minutes.   
  35. Ex Machina -- A star programmer is invited to a remote mountain residence belonging to eccentric billionaire, Nathan to test his latest creation a Humanoid she bot.  While this movie got rave reviews, it can be skipped.  The closed set, the unconvincing acting and a predictable plot that is also unconvincing by AI standards make this a non-dinger.
  36. End of Watch -- Despite Jake Gyllenhall's charismatic presence this movie feels more like a documentary of police work in the worst area of LA.  Movie is dry as sawdust.
  37. The Man from UNCLE (2015) -- This light hearted spy comedy is too slow to entertain.
  38. Blue Ice (1992) -- This slow paced movie picks up only in the second half to a predictable conclusion.   
  39. True Memoirs of an International Assassin (2016) -- This movie is billed like an action film, but it doesn't know what it wants to be.  I think the script is bungled. 
  40. What happened to Monday (2017) -- In a police state with a strict one child policy, a man raises seven daughters who all share one job.  This is a sci-fi chic flick that seems to suffer a "closed set" syndrome among others.  While the plot is good, the sets and editing are weak and the characters unappealing (to put it mildly).

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